According to the numerologists, 2017 is a ‘one’ year, signifying the start of a new global energetic cycle. Here’s what I’ll remember 2017 for:
Self-doubt. After years of researching and studying this fascinating phenomenon, I got super clear that the work I am here to do is to help people transcend self-doubt. I staked a claim on an attachment-based, shadow-work approach to coaching. I started a podcast. I stopped outsourcing discomfort and got to grips with money and marketing. It has been my most fulfilling year: creatively, spiritually, emotionally and financially.
I coached with the best humans. Books were published, programmes created, businesses established. Destructive friendships, relationships and marriages ended with thoughtful intention. People made sense of their beliefs, their memories, the meaning they made about their own capabilities, which led to a LOT of resignations, followed by retraining in entirely different fields, embracing creative passions, and finding the exact same job in a whole different place that felt ‘right’. Mostly there was a sense of reclaiming a quiet, resilient courage, which I think is the ultimate outcome of making peace with our self-doubt. Sara wrote so generously about what it was like to coach with me.
We became dog people. Deciding to bring Bohdi into our lives has been both more stressful and more joyous than we imagined. Watching him run along the beach with utter glee and freedom is one of my favourite memories of the year. He’s the best sidekick.
We went to couples therapy. After a decade of togetherness, we needed some new tools and approaches and ways of understanding who we are now. I’ve realised our relationship is a constantly evolving thing the requires a certain amount of daily tending in meaningful and conscious ways. Mostly for me, this is about surrendering control and certainty. So we beat on, boats against the current.
I took my health seriously. A persistent cough finally led to a doctor’s appointment, followed by a barrage of cardiac and respiratory tests. I faced some demons around my own mortality (the women in my family die young), uncovered some limitations around Western medicine, allowed myself to trust my body. I’ve been outside every day walking, breathing, playing.
I watched the beginning of the fall of the patriarchy. Before the most bigly inauguration I was convinced that Trump was necessary to wake us up. He represents a cultural projection of nostalgic fear; the last gasp of the wounded masculine. Now I believe his role is to help bring down the patriarchy, and the creation of the resistance necessitated his being so cruel, stupid and arrogant. I super-duper hope the fall happens before the nuclear war with North Korea.
I meditated almost every day. So much is born in this silence, in that peaceful conscious nothingness. As a ‘doer’ it feels revolutionary to keep learning how to be still.
I listened. I read over 30 books by women of colour. I stopped having so many opinions about things that are not my experience. I got curious about unconscious bias, unearned privilege, how we fetishise the individual and what constitutes ‘otherness’.
We came home. Ten days ago we finally moved into our new house. It will take us a while to renovate, but the sash windows, the ceiling height, the light. As the millennials say: I can’t even.