three ‘c’s for feeling less shite
If like me, you have had a thoroughly awful Winter, I wanted to share with you some approaches that have genuinely helped to improve things around here. There are three C’s so nice and easy to remember:
Much like periods of mourning, depression left me with no energy or any motivation to change this. So I did what I could to create a lot of space for curling up. This meant disappointing people, doing much less and asking Ash to pick up my slack. It was horrible. The greatest lesson of this whole experience is that I don’t have to do so much. My relationship to ambition, rest, productivity and receiving feels irrevocably changed.
SantaJesus brought me a Kindle for Christmas and I have forgone my usual Worthy Literary Titles for light fiction, particularly romcoms. I have been heading upstairs before 9pm most nights to curl up with a cup of tea. These undemanding, joyful reads have me escaping to a world of kindness and manageable tension, with enough twists and happy endings to keep me believing the world is good and quirky residents live happily alongside Jason Mamoa replicants in small towns everywhere.
Highly recommended authors: Rachel Lucas, Julia Kent, Robyn Carr, Kate Clayborn, Laura Jane Williams.
You will be relieved to know I have no plans for an Etsy store. But there is something undeniably satisfying about creating something. Anything.
I had intended to write a poem a day in February but it soon became clear this was far too ambitious. I did write a couple, and I tried to finish the crossword most days. And when I wasn’t able to manage this, I simply doodled my ‘number’. This represents Level of Hope and Optimism and General Ability to Cope With Adulting Today. My rating scale is -10 – +10 and looking back, I’ve been hovering around -3 – +2 (with a few epically shit -7s where the point of everything was questioned #darkdays). Lately, the needle has been creeping up to +4s and 5s which feel like tiny fist-pump worthy miracles.
I highly recommend looking for the smallest most doable opportunities to make something. The smallest thing seems to lead to good feelings: I’ve been cooking dinner, or baking, something to keep me engaged in the process of food creation. Sitting down to a meal I played some part in feels like a win.
I mostly communed with Bohdi. Because sometimes dogs are just way easier than humans. We went to the park every day because he needed a walk. Some days I just put one foot in front of the other, some days I cried the whole way round.
I tried to notice the trees and the birds while I was outside. Even though that felt a bit fake and contrived and I couldn’t muster much gratitude for anything. So I did it numb for a while. One day there was a torn and flaccid unicorn balloon caught in a beech tree. It was so completely DISMAL it made me laugh. As if someone had planted it there for me.
And even though I knew it might help, even though everyone says ‘talk to someone’ this was the very last thing I felt capable of. So each day I tried to have very superficial, short conversations with strangers. Mostly about the weather (there was much to discuss).
The small talk reminded me I was still three dimensional. That even though my emotions seemed very far away and difficult to grasp, I was still a solid form, I still existed in the world.
So Curl Up, Create, Commune. Not mind-blowing stuff I know, but these tiny things have added up to something shifting. I feel more myself. I’m looking forward to things. Everything feels a bit more doable. Even in the midst of the climate emergency, impending global pandemic and the increasing probability of four more years of Trump. Which is not nothing.
PS: If you have a particular self-doubt challenge you want to resolve, Velocity Sessions are designed specifically for you. Rooted in a single-session therapeutic framework, you and I will help you get unstuck and moving forwards in 90 minutes. I’d love to help. All the details are right here >>>
‘Sas’ writing resonated with me, so I thought perhaps she could help. Sas helped to illuminate this crazy pattern I’d been living for decades. It was so unexpected and powerful, like a light going on. Now I know what’s happening, I understand it, I’m no longer stuck, I’ve finally started moving forward. After a single session. This is an incredible process.’ – Kathleen Patterson
Hello, I'm Sas Petherick. I'm a self-doubt researcher, coach and podcaster who helps thinking humans transcend self-doubt. If you'd like to receive these posts in your inbox please subscribe here (with bonus info and first notice of opportunities to work with me). PS: I totally ♥ Instagram - join me there?