if you feel a bit helpless right now, here are some ideas

July 31, 2018

Feeling helpless is The Pits.

And even with No deal Brexit looming, the whole Tumptastrophe, and wildfires everywhere, it’s a big hairy lie.

Changing the world is ANY tiny action that bends the arc of our lives towards hopeful contribution.

I can’t solve the heartbreaking refugee crisis, but I can spend £5.99 a month to gift period supplies and dignity to women asylum seekers via the bloody good works of Bloody Good Period.

I can’t prevent HSBC from having huge investments in nuclear arms, or shitty tax avoidance strategies. But I can switch to the first UK Bank with a woman CEO who openly questions bias, gender and money & totally gets self-employment: Starling Bank.

I can’t prevent the horrific waste and exploitation from consumerism, but I can buy from stores nearby: @firain_shop @thesetwohandsuk @kemitelford & stores who’s values I adore the pants off of: @wearewildfang @allriottshirts @thepeopleshop + @sootmegs

I can’t single-handedly clean up the oceans, but I can listen to @lucylucraft and learn about radically reducing waste and going as plastic free as poss. I can make choices aimed at making Sir David Attenborough proud of me.

I can’t stop the mind-fuckery that is skinny = healthy, good and pure. I can ALWAYS make the choice to eat the damn cake. And soon: grown my own vege – hello allotment life!

NB: I’m not an “Influencer” (just ask Bohdi) and no one tagged in this post has paid/offered/gifted me anything in return. They’ve just been ace, and sharing is caring.

re-entry lessons: is this freedom or chaos?

June 08, 2018

This post was first shared with the Thoughtful Coaches Insider community. 

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So I went to Italy. To Jane’s Loving Kindness Retreat.

And I honestly thought I would get so much work done. At the very least, writing my new course and planning out the rest of the year. Oh I had such high hopes for myself!

But then Tuscany happened.

In particular, a moment during the first yoga practice while doing hip openers on the floor of a several-hundred-year-old wine cellar. It turns out that I did not have a relationship with my pelvis.

But once this cracked open a teeny bit, lots of stuff flooded out. Somewhat literally, as I lay there weeping on the floor, slightly embarrassed and incapable of stopping.

I cried every day for nine days. Often for no reason but the sheer beauty unfolding around me. And quite possibly the gelato.

It felt good to cry! And to laugh. We laughed A LOT. It was easy. Joyful. I want more.

After years of virtual connection, it was a complete gift to hang out with Jane who is a freakin’ divine light.

I have come home changed. Though I am not sure how exactly. It felt like something has been opened up in me, and lots of disparate parts have started to integrate.

I am wary of making big decisions during post-holiday euphoria, but I am also sensing that some shifts are impending.

I know I want to stop feeling so busy, I want to have more fun outside of work. I want more in-person connection, more writing (two posts in two weeks, I KNOW). I want to delegate more and ask for help. I want to feel more free and joyous in my work.

Something has wants to give.

It has been seven years since I started this business. I love the somewhat mystical theories around seven-year shifts and I wonder if this is also contributing to my restlessness?

And just to go Full Oprah on you one thing I know for sure, is that mostly as adults, and particularly as self-employed folks, we have nothing but choices open to us. There are very few ‘rules’ we need to follow (GDPR notwithstanding ;)) and when it is all up to us, we can often interpret that freedom as chaos. I know I attempt to create certainty all the time, to feel safe and in control.

One of the many lessons I learned from Jane, is how much power there is in not minding what happens.

‘I don’t mind what happens’ might be the secret to everything. I have been practising this for days (during flight delays and the oxymoronic “Easyjet” process, Bohdi rolling in something disgusting every day since I’ve been home, and yesterday I posted my mobile phone with the mail into a post box. I know).

I’m convinced there is something in this idea of loving detachment; of not holding on to tight to expectations, of trusting myself to deal with the outcomes.

So instead of my usual tendency to decide on the objective and work backwards with a nice colour coded plan, I am going to start by intentionally creating more of what I want right now and seeing what happens.

How do you know when you are ready for something to change? How do you go about making changes? Is all that choice more like freedom or more like chaos to you? What might help you embrace the inevitable uncertainty?

Psst: This article was originally shared with my email community in February 2018. I’m sharing it with you on the blog today in the hope that it may be of some encouragement and insight to you in your creative journey right now, and also give you a little sneak peak of what you can expect from Weekly Letters too. If you’d like to receive letters like this one straight to your inbox every Sunday, you can sign up below. You’ll also have access to all of my Mini Books too!

Psst: This article was originally shared with my email community in February 2018. I’m sharing it with you on the blog today in the hope that it may be of some encouragement and insight to you in your creative journey right now, and also give you a little sneak peak of what you can expect from Weekly Letters too. If you’d like to receive letters like this one straight to your inbox every Sunday, you can sign up below. You’ll also have access to all of my Mini Books too!SaveSave

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stretch, eat, nap repeat: on developing a rest ethic

May 29, 2018

From this dusty chair in the courtyard next to the restaurant, all I can hear are birds chattering and the occasional shouts of hotel staff preparing tonight’s supper. I have come to Tuscany in the heat of early Summer with the specific intention of ‘risking being disturbed and changed’. Basically, I’m knackered. I have spent […]

he turned us into dog people

March 23, 2018

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we are the village :: the five foundations of children’s self-esteem

March 03, 2018

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on starting (to write an actual book)

January 30, 2018

We have lickety-split fibre-optic broadband. However, due to 125-year-old unfathomably thick walls, the wi-fi signal within our Old Lady house is awful. Especially in my office. In early January, I received an almost £100 bill for my mobile data charges for the three weeks since we moved, and a lightbulb went off in my brain. […]