the bubble woman and the moon people do extreme home makeover

September 16, 2014

randb

One time Rex allowed Badger right up on his front porch. And she silently exploded with happiness.

One of my favourite things to do in the shower each morning (ahem), is to create a safe and loving place energetic bubble around myself. My bubble reminds me of my edges – of where I end and you begin. Its where I get to think and feel in conscious and purposeful ways, that are true to me. Most of the time. When I remember.

[nb: I share this practice on Befriend your Mind].

Living inside this bubble is a kind and intentional way of looking after myself.

Because for years I lived in an abandoned crack house.

I left the door wide open and everyone was welcome. There was a sign out front: ‘Damaged? Addicted? Sad? Come on in! Leave the detritus of your life all over the floor, and stay as long as you want’.

Living in the crack house, meant living with no edges; the boundaries between me and you were so porous I lived on the bathroom floor, shooting up on our combined pain.

Because being connected to everybody else’s sadness, kept me alive. My cheating ex-husband, the untimely death of Mum, the career that was all kinds of wrong for me, my bastard body, the infelicitous men – these stories were all so integral to me, I didn’t know who I would be without them.

I believed The Happy People were probably delusional, certainly irritating. And for years I measured the depth of someone’s character by their suffering. Sad people had all the best clothes. And a better soundtrack.

My deepest work has been an Extreme Home Makeover: Crack House to Soul House.

And even though I’ve been living here in the bubblicious Soul House for years, even with the clarity and peace of loving edges – I still feel that old pull to invite other people’s stuff in.

These days, the process to untangle myself is a squillion times easier with the perspective of my lovely friend and coach Elle Jaye. And she totally woke me up recently, by introducing me to Melody Ross‘ bloody genius idea of The Moon People.

Because this is what I know about my Soul House: no one comes in, this is where I get to live. Inside is the unconditional love I have for myself. Its safe, kind, and judgement-free.

Ash and Rex and Badger get to come right up to the door. My dearest trusted hide-a-body friends are allowed in the front garden. Outside the gate, I invite the people I adore and admire and who’s presence feels like an expansion. In my street, I permit access to the people who I have an real affinity with. Others are allowed as close as the outlying suburbs.

And then there are The Moon People.

Because as I get to know you,  you are going to show me who you are, and I am just going to believe you.

So I don’t require you to change one tiny bit – you get to do and say and be exactly who you are.  And no matter what you do, I’m not going to make it mean anything that would cause me not to love me.

I am just going to live here, in my Soul House Bubble, taking care of me.

And I might choose to put some boundaries around our relationship from time to time, or forever. This is what I do to look after me. Because I am responsible for loving me.

Sometimes that means my street is open to you. Sometimes that means you get to live on the moon.

Are there people squatting in your living room? Is there someone in your kitchen who should really be living on the moon?

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11 Responses to “the bubble woman and the moon people do extreme home makeover”

  1. Laurie says:

    This is so beautifully written, Sas. You are a master of sprinkling life with your eloquence. Your soul house is sparkly clean now. Guard it well. xoxo

  2. jane says:

    this made my heart whisper “see, see, this work you are doing, this sweeping and cleaning, this shooshing people out the gate and down the road and gesturing further, further with your hand (until they are a whiney speck on the horizon) is ok. It is better than ok. It is wholemaking.” So I will carry on pumping my soul cushions and powering up my forcefeilds because this life is too precious to live in a crack house. Oh Sas this is a gift <3

    • Sas says:

      yes yes! there is something so empowering about keeping your own house clean right? It really is the work of our life. Turns out Gran was right – hoovering totes matters! So glad you live in my street xx

  3. Alicia-Marie says:

    What a great post, Sas! Maintaining one’s inner hearth is soulful. Creating boundaries, EVEN with family, is ESSENTIAL – a lesson I learned last January, when I worked with you during a coaching session. This “tree” is doing well :).

  4. Jac McNeil says:

    This is my most favourite piece of yours to date. Beautifully written, Sas.
    I feel that I’ve lived this way for a long, long time — and boy does it feel good– but I could never have articulated it as powerfully and eloquently as you just have. What a gift you have.
    I love your voice in this world SO much.
    Love,
    Jac

  5. Cherie says:

    Ahhh. Yes. I have been learning my own boundaries for the last while. Like, perhaps forever. It feels good to be in charge of my own life, not steered or influenced by the crash & disaster of others. It’s tempting to want to help or fix it, but that is an unconscious, habitual reaction. I’m off autopilot. I can only do the work on my own space.

  6. leonie says:

    i LOVE this way of defining the boundaries. moon people indeed

  7. Hilary says:

    Sas, what a clever lady you are. What a smart way of thinking about this stuff. xxx

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