solstice dreaming

June 21, 2017

I spent yesterday in a floaty muumuu frock and nothing else.

It was about a billion degrees. I had four glorious coaching sessions, two short naps and drank 5 bottles of fizzy water. The house was covered in grumpy furry beings. And today is supposed to be hotter.

So that’s excellent news.

We are at the Solstice. Halfway. The tipping point. And this has always been a day that felt a little magical to me.

Over the years it’s also been a day when I let myself really dream and wish and hope.

It’s so intriguing to realise that this Solstice, I am both full and hungry for more.

I used to believe that it would be enough to be content. But now I’m here, I’m so bloody restless, I know there is much more to come. I’m not done yet!

And I was brought up to believe that when blowing a dandelion or birthday candles, I should make a wish but never reveal it, because then the wish would die and it would be my fault. So my dreams always felt so delicate, so easily ‘jinxed’ it felt dangerous to wish too big, let alone ever actually tell anyone.

This tradition is obviously a load of bollocks. Still, writing this feels a bit exposey, because what if I fail and then you’ll know because I publicly stated it?!

I believe we don’t talk about our dreams because it’s so much easier to stay in the land of possibility where there is no disappointment.

But equally, if we keep them to ourselves, we have no one to enjoy the process with. So here are my Top Five Big Scary Dreams before the next Summer Solstice:

  • To be living in our forever home. With views of fields and no neighbours. Mostly I am craving space and light and a place for friends to gather. So we need room for a big dining table and guest bedrooms. The house pictured is on one of our favourite walks. It’s perfect. And not for sale. Still. Excellent #houseinspo
  • To be working at The Coach House. Literally! In England, lots of older properties have outbuildings that used to house horse-drawn carriages. I am up for converting one into my office. I am imagining a big room with a wood-fired stove and sofas, my desk and stuffed bookshelves, with room to paint badly.
  • To be at the end of drafting my book. It’s about moving through self-doubt, and I think it’s part-memoir, part-theory, part-practical tools, with client stories woven in. 90% of it is in my head right now. Writing is both easy and horrible. I’m getting there.
  • To have moved my personal coaching work to support women who experience self-doubt. It’s been a theme that has run through my work for years, but I am getting clearer and more focused on this. Because I believe our world needs women to rise collectively, and self-doubt is the number one fucker-upper of this.
  • To be feeling healthier and stronger. I utterly love and adore this vessel I live in, but the combo of loneliness and overwhelm has meant a lot of unconscious eating over the last few years. I’m shining a gentle light on that.

What about you, dear reader? What are your Solstice dreams?

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One Response to “solstice dreaming”

  1. Jane Shuttleworth says:

    Thanks for this one Sas. has really got me thinking and dreaming big! Now back to the self-doubt course final task!! Hope your dreams come true.