be the change: it matters more than ever

January 30, 2017

I believe wounded people create a wounded world.

And so before we can become effective agents for change, we must tend the personal wounds that stir our reactive emotions, cloud our vision, and cause us to act unconsciously in ways that undermine our intentions and values.

The willingness to look at our wounds is a sacred and courageous task because when we heal, we contribute to a world made more whole by our presence.

If everyone had this commitment to healing, I imagine there will be a pretty seamless progression from personal healing to societal transformation. I imagine a culture where humane, ecologically sensible, progressive and inclusive policies result in increased well-being for humans and animals and an ecological vitality for our Mothership planet.

But we do not live there. Yet.

And no one can report back from the other side and tell us how to get there #whereismyfluxcapacitor?

I believe psychological dysfunction is the limiting factor in our collective capacity to create the world we all say we want.

To the extent that we make decisions with unhealed emotional wounds, our decision-making process will be tainted by our experience of anger, fear and shame.

To the extent that we project blame onto some imagined enemy or scapegoat, the quest for empowerment becomes an impulse to compare ourselves to, repress and judge the perceived opposition.

To the extent that we do not know ourselves, we may accept the words of those in authority, we don’t ‘make a fuss’, and as a consequence, we do not take action rooted in our values; what we really want, and who we really are.

When we abandon our responsibility for critical thinking, it makes sense that we would become apathetic, or elect leaders who lie to us unchecked, even though deep down in our hearts, we know it isn’t true.

This is how we have all participated in the creation of a ‘post-truth’ world.

So what now?

We need to look to those in the margins, to those who are marginalised. They are the canaries in our collective coal mine. If they are safe, we all are.

We need all of us.

Those of us who do work to help others heal must recommit to this work. We must embrace our shadows, doubts and fears about being visible and open to judgement. We must endeavour to be a ‘good enough’ container for our clients.

We all need to find the courage to speak out, to feel the truth of what is happening and decide how we are going to respond. Sit on the sidelines, or take a stand? And we must be vigilant that the stand we take does not replicate the very actions we say we find abhorrent.

I happily welcome President Tump to the UK. And I will show up with thousands of others and add my voice of protest to the rest of the light-bearers. He is not silencing anyone. And he will not win.

My dear friend Caroline, who embodies a rare radiance and wisdom, and who has seen a few more turns around the sun that most of us, said yesterday in a private Facebook group:

I have lived through many times when I doubted we would come through. And somehow we did. I do find it helps to focus on the small acts of kindness and love that still happen. Just recently I met a young Italian man in Shrewsbury who told me that he ‘loved the UK, and all the kind people’. On Friday our life drawing model from Germany, who has lived here for many years following a long time living in Spain, said how much nicer it was here. It seems even more important to be our best and loving selves and to value the smallest acts of generosity and love. Take care xxx

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