|Badger’s daily moment of zen is somewhat different|
For almost thirty days in a row, my post-wee, daily weigh-in has showed the same numbers. This has been met with a whispered ‘fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou’ from moi. Because I am running 20km a week and I am having a serious love affair with vegetables (the European zucchini harvest makes me swoon) and I feel so good about my body and my head space around this and WHY WON’T THE BASTARD NUMBERS SODDING WELL MOVE?!
The last few days I have been at home nursing a temp and sore throat. Daily movement has involved less that a dozen stair climbs. So of course today shows a two pound reduction. FINALLY.
When I was eating without thinking, I hated the scales. Hated the numbers going up and up seemingly beyond my control. As they increased I felt exponentially less-than. They were measurable evidence of my shame. The numbers made me feel like a fraud: I was able to manage complex and risky change projects worth millions of pounds, and have difficult conversations with people at all levels of an organisation every day. But I could not do a thing to alter my own body. So I chucked the scales out and felt quietly smug that those bad boys would never darken my door again.
When I decided to understand why my relationship with my body was so broken, I felt I needed empirical data, free of the emotional turmoil I was walking through. But the whole purpose of this was to STOP feeling bad about myself. The scales and their Tales of Woe felt like a exercise in compulsive self-harming. And then Mr P’s undergraduate studies in the social sciences finally proved worthwhile! He found research from the University of Minnesota that found adults who weighed themselves daily while trying to lose weight, lost 12 pounds in two years, whereas people who weighed themselves weekly lost six. The daily weighers also had less of a tendency to regain their weight.
Bolstered by The Science I committed to weigh myself once, everyday. And it has proved fascinating. I know that in the days before my ‘Lady Moontime’ I put on a couple of pounds, but first sight of a bloody gusset and they disappear (probably water retention), the numbers tend to stay the same until Friday or Saturday and then change. Eating carbs after 5pm, or less red meat, or exercising more does not impact the rate at which I lose AT ALL. I look for an overall trend rather than obsessing about individual days. And so while this month of plateauness has been frustrating, I have been able to talk myself through it.
I have become super attuned to the rhythms of my body through this daily practice; it is a reminder that I am honouring my promise to myself to embrace kindness and curiosity in getting healthy.
What is your relationship to the scales? Do you weigh yourself?