After an early start and a day that tested my patience and sanity, I left at 5pm with the intention of a pre-dinner run. At the interchange, I found myself at the beginning of what was to be a 30 minute wait between trains that are usually 5 minutes apart. My hour long commute began to look like two. And then the west-bound train diverted one stop before mine, adding a 15 minute walk to my journey. Awesome.
Sometimes I understand The Rage, Falling Down styles.
Outside the station I tripped on the uneven stupid arse path OF COURSE. This was enough for me to decide to forgo the run and get something for dinner. To just go with what was happening, rather than what I wanted to happen took a bit of the edge off. Inside the supermarket it was cool and quiet and there were fresh white peaches on sale: a mighty fine idea for a snack.
And I was thinking as I walked home through the park that in the space of an hour I had felt excitement, fear, happiness, disappointment, anger, tiredness, sadness, peace, and wonder. I let the memory of all of those feelings come back to me and felt them all again briefly. I named them all and let them go. There is something quite magical about this process, about just feeling the feelings. Not fighting or questioning; just acceptance. I sat on the grass in the evening sun and bit into a perfectly ripe peach, the juice dripped off my chin and down my fingers. I felt a massive goose-bumpy dose of gratitude.
The whole way home I noticed there were feathers everywhere.
Wise and beautiful. The art of living skillfully. x
i feel like i am just uncovering a tiny sliver of the first layer of the onion that is zen x
i felt my shoulders soften as i read this… the gift you gave to yourself has become a gift to me…
<3
One day I shall tell you about the Day of Human Shitness (Paris, October, 2002) and how a man giving me a map saved me from Falling Down styles rampage that day.
i shall very much look forward to that!
A wonderful, beautiful lesson.
Learning to feel your feelings rather than deep dip them in chocolate and drown them in wine – I hear you.
come visit my blog, would love it if you do :) xx
love this.. finding feathers shows your Angels are around you
you are a great story teller,
or lots of birds! ;)