Things are really really different from then because:
- I no longer have that panicky feeling that I am white-knuckling it to the end.
- I don’t think that fate, or eating a full fat yogurt, will determine the outcome of my well-being.
- I let myself enjoy the anticipation of the main course instead of filling up on bread.
- I have a treat every day.
- I know that this chocolate is not the last chocolate on the face of the earth and therefore does not warrant the obsessive and largely chocolate based thoughts.
- If I really want the chocolate, I have it.
- I have guilt-free rest days, where I may or may not leave the house.
- I have become practised at understanding, and then articulating the feelings I am feeling. And why I am feeling them.
- I don’t feel the need to drown or eat my feelings anymore. And so I feel more and I cry (WAY) more and I get angry more. And its ok.
- I am kind to myself, because I am doing my best and I love me. And I have a truckload more empathy for others.
- I go to bed early.
- I have let go of the idea that ‘Fun Sas’ only comes out to play after a bottle of pinot noir.
- I have a bowl of fruit on my desk. And I eat blueberries (my favourite of the superfoods) every day.
- I treat myself with fresh flowers. Or a massage.
- I am comfortable and happy being the only person at the table who doesn’t order dessert.
- I know that once I get to 68 kgs/150 pounds/10 stone 10 (my magic numbers, Holy Grail and Mordor all rolled into one) my life will pretty much be the same.
Wow.
Not only lost loads but in all the *right* ways and in your *right* mind
Loads of cheering and clapping.
Also…does that mean you have cases of pinot noir going begging cos……
Yay. You inspire!
loved reading this. taking care of yourself is awesome and necessary. congrats on the big steps!
Sas, you have no idea just how much this post warms my soul. There is such a process to this whole weight loss business yet also such potential for soul growth in direct relation to pound loss. I am still only at the very beginning of it all, but reading this gives me so much hope and courage. Well done and thank you! xo
yes! it feels like this is TOTALLY soul-lipo. or something.
I am coming to the end of a lifelong process that I started to really process two years ago this week :)
love you.
Kudos to you! I read all your posts but rarely comment, although this one made me want to tell you how much of an inspiration you are to me. I love the part about realizing that you are still you, with or without the weight. :-)
such beauty & wisdom. love your practice. sounds grounded & honest. bravissimo, love!
I am singing a chorus of YES’s as I read this. Your comment about the weight loss being part of your bigger soul journey so resonates for me, as does the bit about feeling your feelings. Sometimes I still eat my feelings but I know it, I choose it in the moment but the difference now is that I don’t let that moment define how I will deal with the next load of feelings. I feel like I’m finally having a loving and respectful relationship with my body and it sounds like you’ve come to the same place. Pretty awesome, right? xo
SUPER awesome.
having a ‘loving a peaceful relationship with my body’ seemed as plausible as flying unaided just a few years ago. now it feels so utterly central to how i can be me in the world.
it feels like the most important gift i have ever given myself.
we really need to discuss this in person!
“And so I feel more and I cry (WAY) more and I get angry more. And its ok.”
yes.
it still amazes me that the world doesn’t end if I tell someone I am upset with them.
Well done! Not just on the weight loss but on being so healthy… on all fronts.