Archive for July 2009

my midas touch

July 28, 2009

Yesterday I unwittingly metamorphosed into King Midas, except everything I touched turned to shit. Following my dealings Fuckwit Movers International, there was the failure of Royal Mail to accept my online redirection instruction (because we haven’t lived at the current address for more than a year), the failure of Hounslow Council Parking Services to accept […]

the third most stressful thing after death and divorce

July 27, 2009

Dear God, You’d think I’d know by now: in any project, always include contingency for some fuckwit to fuck something up. Also, that something is bound to be the thing that makes everything else fucking happen. So yeah, there I was merrily organising the transfer of all utilities known to man, the moving from one […]


July 24, 2009

The best time to be unwell when I was a little girl, was in winter. Mum would take the day off work, light the fire and run me a hot bubble bath. I would spend the day on the sofa with my pillow and the cat , snuggled under an enormous plush mink tiger blanket […]

…in which i begin to discuss my daddy issues

July 22, 2009

It’s like an unimaginative Gossip Girl plot line; son of adversarial, traumatic divorce, grows up as selfish, emotionally absent and philandering husband, has daughter who marries same. It’s been over four years since everything exploded and I was left with the irrefutable fact that putting myself back together and the inevitable divorce would hurt like […]

chuck taylor, rowing boats and the inflatable lobster

July 20, 2009

Reader, he bought me shoes: Oxford Burgundy Chuck Taylors. And they are awesome. Saturday’s mystery date then proceeded with a Ratty and Mole type adventure involving a row boat on the lake in the middle of Hyde Park and Science Guy’s big, strong, powerful arms (nb: there is something quite hot about a bloke who […]