It’s been four days since he left me in the bath reading The Amber Spyglass. My senses are dulled, reactions slowed, I felt almost anaesthetised by the shock of what has happened. A few hundred miles away a Tsunami has ripped the heart out of south east Asia. I am unable to comprehend anything. With Little Brother and Mrs Little Brother in bris vegas, in the humid heavy heat and the protective sibling hug that is my sanctuary. And in the markets on south beach I find this little bowl. The colours are the brightest hues I have seen in days. Inside is a deep red heart. Around the edges are the words: happiness, passion, strength, hope, trust, peace, love. My mantra. The purple bowl has been beside my bed ever since. On the same day Renee (Mrs Little Brother) bought me a small white pebble with a smiley face painted on it. George likes to chase the pebble out of the bowl and it makes a rolling clunk as it lands on the wooden cabinet.
I also recall the feeling of seeing you when we picked you up at Brisbane airport – we had been partying all day for new year, then it dawned on us what was going on. Renee and I both cried in the car on the way to pick you up, Radiohead “No surprises” was on CD – quite possibly the saddest (in my opinion) song I have ever heard – it still makes me cry thinking about it. But hey, I guess out of all of this you have acquired a cool bowl (never recall seeing it…but I like the purple, Mum would like it), Renee bought a gift which in the end had appropriate use (George I’m sure is pleased), and I think we are all more relaxed about life. I can’t describe how proud (and envious) I am of you – I would never be able to put my thoughts down everyday for anyone to see – it scares me too much, you throw yourself into heavy projects – whereas I procrastinate for years over one or two small ones….most of all you are honest, something which not everybody can attest to being. Little Brother