It’s been four days since he left me in the bath reading The Amber Spyglass. My senses are dulled, reactions slowed, I felt almost anaesthetised by the shock of what has happened. A few hundred miles away a Tsunami has ripped the heart out of south east Asia. I am unable to comprehend anything. With Little Brother and Mrs Little Brother in bris vegas, in the humid heavy heat and the protective sibling hug that is my sanctuary. And in the markets on south beach I find this little bowl. The colours are the brightest hues I have seen in days. Inside is a deep red heart. Around the edges are the words: happiness, passion, strength, hope, trust, peace, love. My mantra. The purple bowl has been beside my bed ever since. On the same day Renee (Mrs Little Brother) bought me a small white pebble with a smiley face painted on it. George likes to chase the pebble out of the bowl and it makes a rolling clunk as it lands on the wooden cabinet.