Rex: a massive ball of furry ennui.
We all have our particular flavour of suffering.
Mine has been about my relationships with my body, my grief and my father; believing that I was worthy of a Big Love, and trusting that my true purpose in the world was not in a tower made of glass and steel.
Of course when I was deep in the mire of it, I would never have said I was suffering. Or acknowledged my despair. Such charged words should be reserved for those who have nothing; on some level I thought I was being self-indulgent, needy, selfish.
As first-world sufferers we constantly pepper our disappointments and longings with rationalisations and justifications. That at least we don’t have to worry about being shot by a repressive, militarised government. We aren’t chained to a sewing machine making Nike sweatshirts for £2 an hour. We’re not lining up at a soup kitchen for our next meal. Nor are we subjected to a public stoning if we seek attention outside of marriage.
So actually, its not that bad.
But by dismissing our pain, we exacerbate it.
Suffering isn’t off-set by wealth or privilege or opportunity. It has nothing to do with how smart you are or how much you want things to be different.
To suffer means simply: to endure, to permit.
I’ve coached with so many women who’ve shared their painful thoughts about their lives. I recognise their suffering and I remember the pain of it. The bleakness of it.
Learning how to notice your thinking mind is life-changing – to acknowledge the thoughts are completely real to you, to know they are worthy of your attention – creates a deep intimacy with yourself. Because its not the circumstances of your life that create your flavour of suffering, but the crappiest of your thoughts.
When we reduce our suffering to First World Problems, we diminish ourselves.
Worse, we miss the opportunity to learn the big, universal reason for emotional pain: thats its always an invitation to learn how to transcend our suffering, so that we can know it really is optional.
If you are feeling the pull to make some changes over this Summer, I have a few coaching spots available right now. I’d love to coach with you!
Get all the details right here >>>